So remember the other day when I mentioned that song "Anti-Goth" that my old, old band Rahne used to play in our post-goth, pre-breakup period? Well, I promised lyrics and audio, and you know me kids -- I never break a promise, especially if it involves torturing you with my bad music and awful voice:

Lyrics:

Sitting in a corner dressed in black velvet, smoking cloves 'til your lungs bleed
Sitting in a corner drinking black coffee, waiting for your next line of speed

Foil on your windows block out the sun so you can sleep all through the day
The moon is up, the sun is gone -- it's time to drown your sadness away

Waste your life in the pursuit of the perfect shade of whiteface
Black eyeliner and fishnet shirts, wander in your gothic daze

And audio, from The Anti-Goths Live, recorded live at Cafe Espresso Roma on a cool autumn evening in 1996:

"Anti-Goth" (MP3)

Yep, I still think it's kinda funny. I'm not sure why the people are getting so excited during the bridge of the song -- maybe our rambunctious bass player Sterling was dancing or something.

I get so easily amused sometimes. Over on the published articles listing on my little ol' website, a lot of Goth-targeted ads pop up, I think because one of the first articles listed on that page is one called "Gothclubbing" I wrote for the CityLife lo those many years ago. So clicking on that page today, I saw the ad featured to the right for GothScene.com -- a Goth dating website. Seriously. I mean, I know we live in the age of specialization and there are separate dating sites for gays, Jews, Muslims, etc., but ... this just made me laugh.

I have half a heart to sign up for an account just to see what lunatics -- I mean, hot Goth singles -- are out there. Can you just imagine these listings? "Hello, fellow members of the undead, I am a tortured soul looking for someone to rescue me from the edge of the abyss. Oh, and to share my Hot Topic discount."

Disclosure: Yes, back in the day, I played in bands that could be qualified as semi-goth. Or quasi-goth. Oh, hell, fully goth. But -- despite a temporary penchant for black leather, eyeliner and fishnets -- I never really got fully invested into the scene. Which is probably why I was universally hated AND blamed for the break-up of Morgana Athena. Or maybe it was just because I was an asshole. Either way, I wrote an amusing song called "Anti-Goth" WHILE playing in a band affiliated with the goth scene in Las Vegas, and after my band Rahne started playing it live, it kinda felt like our core fanbase -- the aforementioned spooky kids -- gave us the heave-ho. Oh, but it was a classic tune. I only have it on cassette, so I'll have to transfer it to digital for you one day, because the lyrics, now that I think about it, were friggin' awesome in their attacks on the poor kids hiding in their trenchcoats smoking cloves.

Man, all this talk of Gothiness sure has made me hungry. That, and I haven't had breakfast yet. I'll leave you with that while I scout out a bagel. If you happen to be interested in finding out for yourself what offerings the exciting world of Goth dating affords, well, now you know. And knowing is half the battle. G.I.JOE!!!